Let go, without losing yourself
Feelings of grief and loss can be so powerful that sometimes it feels like there is no escaping them. As though something locked you in a dark room with only the same thoughts and the same pain to keep you company. But what if the very feelings keeping you in place also held the key to moving forward?
Grief and loss are some of the most powerful feelings you can experience in life. And they can often feel physical, like something was torn away from your body. Your heart aches, your stomach knots, and sleep comes in fits if it comes at all. Often, the people around you either don't understand the depth of your pain, or simply feel powerless to help you. It can be lonely, and sometimes it can feel like there is no end in sight.
But none of these feelings mean that you're broken, that you're "doing it wrong," or that you will always feel this way. In fact, the pain of loss is often the clearest indication that you care deeply about the people around you and the world you live in. In short, grief implies love, and truly understanding this is often the clearest path to moving forward with the best parts of what you left behind.
Grief implies love
Are you carrying any of this?
Grief that arrives in waves. A song, a smell, an offhand comment, and suddenly you're pulled under again, long after you thought you were past it.
Anger where you expected sadness. Frustration at circumstances, at other people, even at the person you lost, more than the sorrow you assumed would come first.
Guilt for feeling okay. Catching yourself laughing, or forgetting for a moment, then feeling like you've betrayed something by simply feeling lighter.
The strange ache of ordinary routines. Setting a second plate, reaching for the phone to call, and remembering all over again.
The sense that no one quite understands. Well-meaning comfort that reaches for a cliché and misses the actual shape of what you're carrying.
Fear that healing means forgetting. A worry that feeling better someday means the loss, or the person, mattered less than it should.
Grief doesn’t need to be carried alone
The painful feelings that arise after we lose someone or something we love are natural outgrowths of the change that is taking place inside of us. And despite their intensity, they are usually signs that something is in the process of being fixed, not broken. But sometimes, in the absence of support and understanding, these feelings can last longer than they should, and negatively impact our lives and relationships. This is when counseling, and especially existential counseling, can help you move forward.
Let’s do this together
Our sessions are conducted remotely, in English, with me, Andrew Wright. I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor (Illinois LPC) and National Certified Counselor (NCC) who understands grief on both a clinical and personal level.
Together, we'll take stock of what you've lost, and what it meant. We'll trace how this loss is showing up in your life now, in your relationships, your routines, your sense of who you are. And we'll work to understand what your grief is trying to tell you.
We draw from an existential and psychodynamic approach, less concerned with helping you move past your grief than with helping you carry it in a way that lets you keep living fully. That clarity is often where real relief begins, not by suppressing what you feel, but by finally understanding it.
Do you have questions that weren’t answered here? If so, feel free to visit the FAQ page.